DECLASSIFIED DOSSIER: "HYPERFIXT"

in the year 2022 AD, a notorious "internet cryptid" discovered web-hosting service NEOCITIES.ORG and began broadcasting their thoughts directly out onto the information superhighway. research gives us a few basic facts about this mysterious creature.

• the "HYPERFIXT" specimen first became visible on our radars in the early 21st century, and has been active on the world wide web for almost their entire lifespan.
• the specimen possess an erratic attention span, capable of both extreme procrastination and overwhelming, superhuman levels of dedication depending solely on personal interest.
• despite being infamously hard to locate and research, the specimen seems to be receiving some hodge-podge form of formal education into film analysis.
• prolonged exposure to the "HYPERFIXT" specimen's broadcasts can result in frustration, anti-capitalistic behavior, deep thought, an urge to surf the web for hours, and in extreme cases, an unidentified process the creature cryptically refers to as "being jokerized".
• if you are looking to lure in the specimen, bait with plastic collectibles, extreme and shallow misreadings about media, or limited edition foodstuffs. proceed with caution, as containment is often breached with ease.